Big Brother is upon us...

Big Brother will be back on the tube in a matter of hours! The producers promise yet another explosive season filled with crazy twists. Here’s an idea, can Julie Chen. After the 1st episode. That’ll get everyone in the house on edge…

This season has 16 houseguests, so more personalities will surely lead to greater television, right? Well, a quick look at the contestant profiles on the CBS website, and one might think otherwise…

The common theme amongst the combatants is that they are close with their mom, they love watching football, and most importantly, most everyone is single. I say most importantly because it’s obvious CBS casts these people strictly for that reason. There are two criteria. Are you single? If so, will you hook up with anyone? It’s terrible, that type of mentality when casting is awful. Just look at last season. Without Dick and Jen, the season would have been pathetic, which it was bordering on anyways. The players on the show should be put on there that have interesting personalities, have depth of character, and are willing to play the game to win…

Among the competitors this go round, you have a 28 year old Bikini Barista named Natalie. What in Johnny Fairplay’s good name is a Bikini Barista? But that’s not all, you see, Natalie is a “self described military kid” (you either are a military kid or you’re not), yet she is also very religious and carries her bible around everywhere. And I’d be remise if I didn’t mention this Bikini Barista has a certain affinity towards silicon. Thanks CBS, she must be a very thrilling individual. Guaranteed she will be horrible. Let’s hope she is horrible in a good way, and that she cheeses people off.

A friend told me a few days ago that these profiles on CBS look like they’ve been written by 5 year olds. That might be a bit generous. There’s Matt, a 23 year old Roofing Foreman who keeps his ex-girlfriends around for “booty calls”. Why do we need to know this? But wait, there’s depth to his character. He doesn’t engage in any lewd acts with his recent ex because she hooks up and flirts with other guys. How upsetting. I instantly feel compassion for this guy. This is ridiculous. Why is this clown even on the show?

Oh there are others, such as one dude who looks like he wants to be a rock star, another who is a paparazzo, and a goofy looking guy with red hair that is bicycling around the world. Additionally, there are women who juggle multiple partners at a time, not to mention a pair of women who have gone to a tanning bed about 123 too many times…

Come on CBS. We want more. We want interesting characters, funny people, strong personalities. Give us more people like Will from BB2 & All-Stars…

Here’s another twist. Put Will on every single season of Big Brother, and let him duke it out. It’ll be GOLD! Oh, and also fire Julie Chen…

For Blinded Reality,

Michael Harrison